Curing the "Subjunctive Itch": 6 Ways to Stop Overusing "As If"

Improve your writing by stop over using as if when writing similes

We’ve all been there. You’re deep in a descriptive flow, and suddenly you realize every other sentence follows the same rhythm: Subject did action AS IF condition.

This is often called the "subjunctive itch." While "as if" is a perfectly fine phrase, overusing it creates a repetitive, hesitant cadence. It distances the reader by constantly reminding them that the comparison is hypothetical.

Here are six varied ways to handle comparisons without falling into the "as if" trap, graded from simple swaps to structural changes.

1. The Prepositional Shift

Instead of describing the hypothetical situation, describe the manner of the action. This is excellent for character descriptions and adding specificity.

• The Template: [Action] + with the + [Attribute] + of + [Noun]
• The Trap: He held the antique as if it were a fascinating insect.
• The Fix: He held the antique with the delicate confusion of someone handling a fascinating insect.
• The Fix: He approached the door with the wariness of a bomb disposal technician.

2. "Giving the Impression" (Verbs of Appearance)

Use verbs that imply the comparison directly. This shifts the focus from the narrator guessing (external) to the subject projecting (internal).

• Keywords: Suggesting, evoking, mimicking, channeling, mirroring.
• The Trap: The air vibrated as if a storm was coming.
• The Fix: The air vibrated, suggesting an imminent storm.
• The Fix: His posture mirrored that of a scolded child.

3. The "Observer" Perspective (Voice-Heavy)

Filter the comparison through your narrator’s specific worldview or opinion. This turns a dry description into a character moment.

• Keywords: The kind of [noun] that..., In a way that..., You'd think...
• The Trap: The drive was silent as if someone had died.
• The Fix: The drive was mostly silent—the kind of heavy silence that follows a funeral.
• The Fix: To look at him, you’d think the coffee machine was a sentient threat.

4. The "Wearing" Construction

This is a "Show, Don't Tell" favorite for facial expressions and body language. It treats the emotion as a physical object.

• The Trap: She came in looking as if she had rehearsed a speech.
• The Fix: She came in wearing the expression of someone who had rehearsed a speech.
• The Fix: He entered bearing the distinct look of a man who had lost his keys.

5. The Metaphor (The Nuclear Option)

Sometimes, the best way to fix a weak simile ("as if") is to commit fully. Remove the hesitation. Don't say it was like something; say it was that thing.

• The Trap: The knot on the tree felt as if it were a healed bone.
• The Fix: The knot on the tree was a healed bone, set slightly wrong.
• The Trap: He touched the bruise as if it were a fragile thing.
• The Fix: He touched the bruise—a fragile thing he couldn't afford to break.

6. The "Reminiscent" (Formal/Atmospheric)

If your narrator is academic, clinical, or formal, this construction fits their internal monologue perfectly. It creates distance and analysis.

• The Trap: The flower was glowing as if it were radioactive.
• The Fix: The flower glowed, reminiscent of Cherenkov radiation.
• The Fix: The noise hummed, calling to mind the sound of a high-tension wire.

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